Juni 1998
In the deepest mist of the night
I saw regret in your eyes as you looked at me.
But what if my eyes fooled me,
and what I saw was just what I wanted to see
just what I´ve hoped to see
since the day you left me?
I saw the beauty in your smile,
the grace in your movements,
I even saw the softness in your skin.
I just had to touch you, just one more time,
couldn´t just let you forget that
I Love you,
a desperat grasping for anything that could spare me
the loss of my first and deepest love,
the love we all are bound to lose.
My love obviously didn´t vanish
as easy as I´d hoped,
I wasn´t as strong as I imagined.
I just had to enjoy your smile
and let my eyes follow you body
as you moved away, avoiding me,
and just once more
I had to let myself dream of
the soft touch of your skin.
And as I touched you this once
all the sorrow came over me again,
and although it hurts so bad I enjoyed every motion.
I enjoyed my own pain
and I loved my own tears that softly
caressed my cheeks
as you never again will caress them.
The regret and the true love I thought
I saw in your eyes, have never been there,
will never be there, and that´s your truth,
the truth that scares me the most.
My love for you will die, it has to,
because I don´t even want these feelings any more,
you have taught me what I had to learn from you.
You learned me a lesson that still hurts,
and will hurt for a while,
a lesson everybody sometime has to learn.
You still have yours to come,
but I´m not aimed to teach you,
because you would never love me that much,
that hurts to say but it´s my truth,
the only truth I can´t be blind before.
So yes my eyes fooled me, as love made me blind,
to blinded to hear what you said
to blinded to learn at once as you hurt me the first time,
but I´ve learned my lesson now.